I love myself enough to break this cycle!
If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist you've probably heard it many times - "You'll never find someone like me again!" In all honesty, isn't that the point? But for most of us, we DO find someone like this again. We continue the cycle of getting into abusive, narcissistic relationships. This cycle isn't just about romantic relationships although many are. Narcissist abuse can be from friends, family, co-workers and bosses. For some reason or another, we attract them into our life. We are left feeling empty, isolated and worthless. The psychological termoil cannot be measured because the wounds are placed where the human eye cannot see. The gas lighting and emotional trauma make you question reality on a moment by moment basis. (Also check out the 5 Signs of a Narcissist page here.)
Am I crazy?
No, you are not crazy at all. You were just manipulated by someone who took advantage of your love. The manipulation and abuse starts in subtle ways which are passed off as jokes. "You are being too sensitive. Lighten up!" Conversations which were once simple have you questioning your sanity as you are told repeatedly comments were never made or incidents never happened. You are hoping you can change them by doing more, being more, or changing into whatever they want you to be. In this process, the isolation begins. Lies are told about your mental state and how "you need help". They get you involved with drugs, medications, alcohol or all of the above.
I remember my story as if it was yesterday. This is how I was feeling by the time I left.
"I allowed her into a deeply, intimate space and was violated emotionally, physically and sexually. She even left marks on my body in the process but somehow managed to make me feel as if I was crazy or it was all justified. I often cried after and thought to myself how in the hell did you get here??? How did you let this all happen?"
Does this sound all too familiar?
For starters I want you to know - YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Do not isolate yourself! It's incredibly important to get support during this time. Please consider joining my private Freedom from narcissists facebook group. Taking little steps to empower your life again starts with reaching out. Here you will find a safe community along with tools and techniques to help break the cycle.
Healing from narcissistic abuse takes time, patience, gentleness and an unlimited supply of self-love. I specialize in helping others heal and empower their life again. If you are interested in learning more about
how to break this cycle, please reach out to me. I can teach you the tools and techniques needed to heal and empower you. Don't have a plan? That's ok! You don't have to know all the steps in advance, you just need to be open and willing to invest in your own well-being. It's time for you to invest in yourself! You are worthy of love, health and happiness.
Please reach out to me if you feel you are in a narcissistic relationship and would like more information or support. You can also book private sessions or group sessions directly on my website.
About My Journey
Ever since I was a young girl I always loved being a "helper" in the world. My compassion, empathy and sensitivity made a difference and touched people. I was raised as an Evangelical Christian with a faith based background. As a teenager I spent many summers on mission trips traveling overseas. I've built cabins in Bonaire, toured through Fiji, New Zealand and Australia on a choir team and joined an evangelistic sports team to Mexico. I became a world traveler by the time I turned 18!
However, there have been many road bumps along the way. It took many years for me to reconcile my sexuality and my faith. I sincerely believed what I had been told - the God of all creation cannot love me. If He didn't love me, then, who could? I have been through a lot of trauma, near death experiences and abusive relationships.
My last relationship was what drove me to change my life. I realized I was living with a narcissist. I allowed her into a deeply, intimate space and was violated emotionally, physically and sexually. She even left marks on my body in the process but somehow managed to make me feel as if I was crazy or it was all justified. I often cried after and thought to myself how in the hell did you get here??? How did you let this all happen? I began to wonder why I was so disposable and discarded like a candy wrapper tossed into the trash. When I finally made the decision to leave I lost most of my friends and felt more alone than I ever had in my life. She manipulate others to cut ties with me completely so the only option I felt I had was to return to her.
No matter what happened I refused to ever let her back into my life again. I cut all ties and any contact was done via my lawyers office. That step to break all contact is what helped start the healing process for myself and my 2 year old son.
A few months after leaving I kept seeing a facebook group pop up in my news feed. It was an intuitive healing group which had weekly group sessions. I struggled and felt deep guilt and shame for wanting to join this group but I knew I needed something to help with my mental well-being at the time. If anything, I was hoping it was a diversion from the pain and trauma I was coping with. Little did I know, I met beautiful people who became my soul tribe. This was a place I felt seen, valued and loved. This is where I began learning the tools and techniques to heal, empower and break the cycles not serving my life.
I am here because I have a purpose in life. As I heal myself, I heal others. My healing journey is far from over and I continue to grow in new ways. I stepped out in faith, released the fear and anxiety from my life so I could fulfill my purpose to help others. I know in my heart I am wonderfully made. My life has value, I am loved and I want to help as many people as I can know this truth too! Things happed for a reason.... this is only the beginning...
"Make your mark on this world starting with your own heart!"
Love, light and blessings!