Who is Sarah Worden?
At the age of 6, I remember walking up to a girl at recess and told her she was cute and pretty. Apparently that wasn’t the appropriate thing to say to another girl because she ran away screaming, “You’re weird! I’m telling the teacher on you!!”
At that age I had no idea what was normal and what wasn’t, but I learned quickly as I got older.
Fast forward to the age of 29. I had spent 10 years trying to “pray the gay away” and realized I couldn’t change. I had just taken a bottle of pills while praying hysterically, begging God to forgive me. All I wanted was to be with Him.
I prayed: GOD PLEASE!!! Just let me be with you! I’m so tired of this life and I can’t change! What is wrong with me? Maybe everyone is right! Maybe you truly hate me! You are the only one who has enough love for someone like me, But if you can’t love me, no one can!”
There was a song I played on repeat in the background which truly reflected my heart's desire.
In Your Hands by Hillsong:
“So close I believe, you’re holding me now in your hands I belong - you’ll never let me go.”
Music touched my soul on a spiritual level because I was a songwriter throughout the years. But I was told because of my sinful choices, God couldn’t hear my music. My gifts fell on deaf ears and God turned away from me.
As I was lying there waiting to fall asleep, I never did. I panicked and decided I needed to go to the ER before it was too late. I wasn’t sure how to explain to them what I had done without being put into a straight jacket and given electric shock therapy. My excuse was being overworked and exhausted not realizing how much mediation I had taken. I needed to be checked out.
After taking me back to a room they did the standard blood work. I waited anxiously for the results. The doctor came in and said, “Your blood work is normal. You’re free to go home and get some rest.”
I was in complete shock and was sure there had been a mistake. Maybe they had someone else’s results??
She ensured me she double checked it herself and there were normal levels of the medication I had taken in my system.
She left the room to prepare my discharge paperwork and I started to sob uncontrollably. I heard a very prominent voice speak these words:
“Sarah, you do not have to die to live! I have already done this for you. You are wonderfully made! Don’t let anyone steal your song again!”
In that room I made a vow. I would never get to this point in my life again. I would live life to the fullest just as I am.
I realized I am worthy, valued, loved and more than enough.
This passage is now written on my heart. I will NEVER be shaken again!
Psalm 139: 13 - 14
“You created my inmost being,
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and WONDERFULLY made!
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well!
I am a divine creation of my Divine Creator!
It has become my passion and purpose to help all realize this truth!
We are all WONDERFULLY MADE!!!